So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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