It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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