I must be too annoying 4 u.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
