Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
