I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
