woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
