I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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