You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Randomize
