theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
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im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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