I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
