I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
