dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Who died my cat blue again?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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