Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
