Banned from zoo.
Again?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
