I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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