I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
