This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
