I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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