It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
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I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
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Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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