so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
