Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
