No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
