Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
