The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i now understand why vodka
did i just pee glitter
Randomize