Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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