Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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