He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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