I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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