look no pants
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The ass gains better be worth it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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