Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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