just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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