You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
