Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
