someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
