My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize