I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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