I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
