covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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