he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
