he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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