i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
