We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
