There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
