kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
