he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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