bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize