With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
