I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
