Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
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So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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