Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
