What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
