I think scott just propositioned me for sex
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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