I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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