Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
