Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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