last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
