I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just had sex bonerless
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
There are leaves in my underwear?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
