He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
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i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
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Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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