apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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