One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
