you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
