can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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