And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
