Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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