stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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