you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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