Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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