we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
